I would like to share with you my thoughts & feelings about my friend & sister. Her name is Mercedes Tercier, who is a member of Lifespark. This young lady reached out to me, a stranger who sits on deathrow in the state of Texas.
When I think of her, warm thoughts come to mind and they give my heart such a joy. One that I have never had as a child... She opened her heart to me and has made life on the row such a better life. Not only is she my friend, but my sister as well.
This is a mean & ugly place to be, yet Mercedes has changed that. I’m very strong because of her. I stay positive because of the love she has for me. I used to think life was over for me and she has shown me that it’s not.
Her life is very hard as well, and she has helped me to see so many things. Life in the free world is just as hard. Still, she is there for me whenever I need her. She listens to me and will always have a kind word to say.
I thought I was dead on the inside, on ce again this young lady brought so much out of me that I never knew I had. She talks to me in her letters like I’m really there beside her. She shares all her trips with me and does a great job to make me feel as if I took those trips with her.
I cry just to think of the love and friendship I have with her. She is barely making it from one week to the next and she will go out of her way to put a smile on my face. She has sent me money and books to help with this ugly place I am in.
She has gone beyond the call of duty of what a friendship is. She moved me to change my life and become closer to God. And my life has not been the same since. Because of her, I have now written a book of prayers and I want to share one with you.. These are very private to me, yet I wanted you to know that she has brought nothing but sunshine into my life.
I’m on death row and I can honestly say that I’m happy and that I know what it is to feel cared about and loved by friends... Mercede took away my sadness and filled my heart with all the gladness I could have. So I give thanks to God for this!!! And I thank all the members of Lifespark for reaching out too.
Here I am across the ocean, and Mercedes and Lifespark brought so, so much joy, laughter, happiness, love, friendship into my life. I would not trade my freedom for this. And I do not regret ever meeting them. For every action, there is a reaction and I thank them all for giving me the chance to prove that I deserve to have friends too.
They gave me half a chance, which is all I ever asked for here. I give all glory to God, and I thank him for wonderful people like my sister Mercedes and Lifespark.
You know how fearful and afraid I can become regarding my future and how this afflicts me. This forces me to become negative about: my life, in general; and, more importantly, about my prayer life with You. I know it is "human" to want to "plan" so that I feel safe. But I must learn that when "You are in charge of my life", nothing can come into my life that You and I can’t handle together.
Help me, my loving God, to be at peace with myself and with my relationship with You. Please grant me the "inner peace" that only You can give.
There are so many humans, and, yes, sometimes, my friends let me down because they are not doing what I had hoped them to do. This really gets me down, Lord. I must also learn that I cannot hold expectations out regarding these people and learn to be pleasantly surprised when they can help me and not to hold this against them whenever they can’t.
Lord, they can’t really know how I feel because they are not in my position and sometimes I expect them to do this. On the other hand, I may be putting expectations on them whenever I don’t know all the circumstances surrounding their life, too. You, of course, always know how I feel and I need to keep You ever as my friend as I go from day to day; and yes -
Please help me to realize how important You are in my life and be open to how You will direct my life as we journey together. If I can’t pray, perhaps, You will help me to write my thoughts down and I will feel Your presence more closely.
Perhaps, I should say: Dear God, and write that’s on my mind. Then, on another page begin: Dear Sam, and let You put thoughts in my mind that You would want to give me so that I can remain faithful to Your Word and to Your love.
I have learned that You will always forgive me and that no matter how many times that I fall, You will be there to pick me up and help me through the situation/s.
I love You God with my whole heart, my whole soul, my whole being and I want to do and to think according to Your will and not my own.
My Spiritual Mother is always telling me: to trust in Your Providence (meaning that You will always love me and watch over me). Please, dear God, help me to love You, to trust You and to remain faithful to Your presence in my life! I am so very lucky to have You in my life!
Your loving son,
Sam BUSTAMANTE #999380
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston TX 77351
October 21, 2005